An Open Letter To The Girl Whose Ex Came Back After Breaking Her Heart

At some point in your life you’re going to experience true heartbreak. You’re going to lose the person you loved most in the whole world; the one you’d do anything for; the one you did everything you could for. It might be when you’re 16 and your childhood sweetheart moves away, or you could be in your mid-twenties and you’ve lost a long-term love. It’s a heart-breaking period in our lives where our worlds as we know it come to an end. You feel sad, become depressed, cry A LOT and lose hope for the future.

And then you have to pick yourself up and start again. Your heart could be breaking in two but that doesn’t stop the earth from spinning and the time from passing. Eventually, you have to pick up the pieces and start over your new life. Without them. You have to force yourself to move on.

You’ll spend months self-soothing and cultivating your new future and just when you start to forget about them, they slide back into our lives. It’s like they have some sort of radar. The moment you decide to be happy without them, they know. They want to come back. They want a second chance.

This right here is the moment you need to be stronger than ever before. No doubt, if you loved them that feeling hasn’t gone away yet. They might apologise for what they did; say they’re sorry and they didn’t mean it; make some bullsh*t excuse for why they acted so badly.

But you mustn’t forget the pain that you endured at the hands of this person. The sleepless nights. The hours spent sobbing into your pillow. The dread you felt when someone mentioned his name. The weeks spent waiting by your phone hoping that his name lit up your screen once more. The torment of wondering where he was, what he was doing, who he was with.

Are you really willing to subject yourself to such pain again? Because I guarantee you that somebody who could treat you like shit with no remorse will  do it again. A leopard can’t change his spots.

It’s the dream we all have after a breakup. We long for the day that our ex realised they had fucked up and come crawling back to us. They won’t always, but if they do come back, you’re just setting yourself up for even more disappointment and even more hurt.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Albert Einstein

You won’t look at them the same and no matter what you/they say, you’ll never have the same trust in the relationship. You’ll constantly be waiting for the next time they decide they’re going to walk out. You’ll always wonder and our hearts weren’t made to second-guess love.

Do yourself a favour. Wish them well and walk away.  

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